Wednesday, April 1, 2009

25 Random Things About Meat

In the spirit of the "25 Random Things about Me" facebook meme, I offer you "25 Random Things about Meat"...

1. The word "meat" has animal, vegetable and fungal applications - to wit, the "meat" of a tomato (distinct from the juice and seeds), the "meat" of a mushroom cap (as distinct from spores, gills and stems); and the edible flesh of any animal, as well as its edible organs (both as distinct from the bones, skin, feathers, fur, scales, etc.), are called "meat".

2. The energy it takes to produce 2.2 pounds of beef is enough to light a 100 watt bulb for 20 days.

3. Ben Franklin, in Poor Richard's Almanac, warns: "Beware of meat twice boil'd, & an old foe reconcil'd."

4. Pigs are sometimes boiled alive.

5. Early on the morning of September 6th, 2008, according to the Seattle Times, "a stranger broke into a home east of Fresno, rubbed spices on the body of one of two men as they slept and used an 8-inch sausage to whack the other man in the face and head before he fled, wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, and leaving behind his wallet with his ID." He was later found in a nearby field and taken into custody.

6. Cyberpunks, and other denizens of Virtual Reality, refer to the physical world as "meatspace," at least according to the Oxford English Dictionary.

7. It's not necessarily that vegetarians don't like the taste of it, it's just that many believe that meat is murder.

8. The Smiths, whose front man Morrissey and lead guitarist Johnny Marr are both vegetarians, came out with their album "Meat is Murder" in 1985.

Lyrics include:
And the calf that you carve with a smile
Is murder
And the turkey you festively slice
Is murder
Do you know how animals die ?

Kitchen aromas aren't very homely
Its not comforting, cheery or kind
Its sizzling blood and the unholy stench
Of murder

Its not natural, normal or kind
The flesh you so fancifully fry
The meat in your mouth
As you savour the flavour
Of murder
9. One way to enjoy meat without eating it is by visiting your nearest Museum.

Roy Lichtenstein's Meat, 1962

10. Meat is also suit-able (get it?) for performance art!

Zhang Huan's My New York #4, 2002.

11. Belgian artist Wim Delvoye makes gorgeous "marble floors" out of salami, bologna and mortadella.

12. Everyone knows that pork is "the other white meat," and raccoon is "the other dark meat". But betcha didn't know that goat is the "friendly red meat." (Cows are so mean!)

13. Kangaroo meat is low in fat (under 2%), most of which is polyunsaturated, and only 98 calories per 100 gram (3.5 ounce) a serving.

14. "In 2007, estimated U.S. per capita total red meat and poultry consumption (retail weight basis) was 221.3 pounds per person, a record amount," according to BEEF Magazine.

15. "Meat" (with quotes) is sometimes used as a euphemism for the membrum virile.

16. In October of last year "THE secret ex-GIRLFRIEND of Mr Gay UK cannibal Anthony Morley" told News of the World "he once sent back a steak dish at a restaurant because it was RAW. The killer, who had no trouble pan-frying his victim, Damien Oldfield, in olive oil and herbs, couldn’t stomach the perfectly presented steak tartare and demanded it was cooked."

17. Meat pies are edible. Beefcake is not. If you get confused, refer to this handy chart:



18. It is not advisable for humans to eat zombie meat, either.

19. Midnight Meat Train (2008) was the most recent major motion picture to star Brooke Shields.

20. As Shakespeare wrote in Much Ado About Nothing: "A man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age.”

21. The original cover for the Beatles 1966 album Yesterday and Today featured a cover by photographer Robert Whitaker with the band in butcher smocks draped with pieces of meat and baby doll body parts...

In the U.S., the outcry was immediate, and the record was recalled. Capitol redistributed it with a more conventional
cover pasted over the old one. While Yesterday and Today was the only Beatles record to lose money for Capitol, original "first state" "Butcher Covers" now go for tens of thousands of dollars.

22. Charles Bukowski may have been the father of the "Meat School" of poetry, but I went to college with his successor, the Infamous Ed The Meat Poet, last heard from in 2005 at the Book Court in Brooklyn.

Ed, beating his meat at Indiana University, c.1990.

23. Meat Loaf's real name is Marvin Lee Aday.

24. Spam premiered in 1937, but it was not until 1950 that canned meat saw its crowning glory:

25. Scientists are now growing in vitro meat -- also known as "cultured meat" -- in laboratories. Imagine a future with steak house menus reading: "No animal was harmed in the making of this filet mignon."

1 comment:

  1. This blog is brilliant. It's kept me highly entertained for the past half hour or so. Keep it up!